


just a sign to remind me that tomorrow's worth the fight

by notthebigspoon



Series: neon ballroom [3]
Category: Baseball RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-03
Updated: 2012-10-03
Packaged: 2017-11-15 14:19:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/528216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notthebigspoon/pseuds/notthebigspoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Buster doesn't want Angel to cut and run because it's getting tough but he's also stubborn about accepting help and support. Angel would admire the self reliance if it wasn't so damn frustrating.</p><p>Title taken from Miracle by Shinedown.</p>
            </blockquote>





	just a sign to remind me that tomorrow's worth the fight

Angel isn't a mellow man. Well, by the textbook definition, he is. He's always been pretty calm and easy going. The past few weeks, though, he's lost a little bit of that. He is a father and he's been a husband, he's used to having to be the strong one, the one to keep things on track and the one to make sure the people he love are happy and healthy. It's difficult with Buster, though. Buster doesn't want Angel to cut and run because it's getting tough but he's also stubborn about accepting help and support. Angel would admire the self reliance if it wasn't so damn frustrating.

For a few days and during a road trip, he stays with Angel, living out of a few bags that he'd scrambled together the last time he'd ventured to his own home. After that, he goes into a mode of hotel rooms and insisting that he doesn't need or deserve anyone's help. It scares Angel more than it aggravates him. The rest of the team has slowly learned that Buster has moved out of his house but so far, no one has asked any questions. Probably they don't know what _to_ ask or say. Instead, they watch and worry in silence, wondering what to do and how to help.

Buster, for his part, steadfastly pretends that nothing is wrong. He goes to practice and goes to games, does interviews with a smile on his face. Like usual for most of the season, the smile never reaches his eyes. He's happy about the post season, excited even, but that seems to be the only thing that wakes up up, that brings him out of his self induced isolation. Angel hates it. They had been so good together for that little while and now Angel is being out out like all the rest of them.

Well. To hell with that. Everyone is always laughing and saying Buster ain't having it. This time, Angel ain't having it.

The catcher has been keeping to himself for the past few days, sneaking moments with Angel that he'll break off without warning. They haven't slept together in days, Buster always slipping off to his own hotel room. Angel decides that's where he'll start, reminding Buster what made him think straying was a good idea in the first place. He charms the desk clerk into giving him a key to Buster's room, steadfastly ignoring the look of surprise and delight on Kontos and Zito's faces when he's caught. Like they've got any right to criticize. Angel has walked in on them before doing some pretty odd things themselves.

He knocks first, staying out of sight of the peephole, listening for any sign of his boyfriend inside. There's nothing for a few seconds. Angel shrugs and unlocks the door, slipping inside. It's dark and lite only by the glowing display of Buster's phone. Buster is curled up on his side in bed. He looks peaceful enough but Angel can see the dried tracks of tear stains on his cheeks.

“Dios... why do you make this so hard on yourself?” Angel asks quietly, running his hand over Buster's arm and touching his cheek.

Angel had come up here with every intention of pushing Buster into the mattress and fucking him until he forgot there was anything in his life to be unhappy about. Now, though, with Buster resting and actually looking relaxed, Angel can't bring himself to interrupt it. He doesn't want to leave, though. He hasn't had enough of Buster in any form lately. He misses being close to him. Angel doesn't know if it's a good idea or not to stay. It doesn't really matter. Angel doesn't give a damn. All he wants is for Buster to be happy again and Angel doesn't know how to make that happen.

Angel kicks his sandals off and moves around the bed. He's wearing the shorts and t-shirt he'd left the park in and he keeps them on when he slides under the blankets, moving toward the center of the bed. He kisses Buster's shoulder before settling back and closing his eyes, hand resting on Buster's hip.

He wakes up flat on his back, pinned to the bed by his shoulder with a knee planted between his legs. Buster is staring down at him, breathing hard. He almost looks angry.

“What the hell is wrong with you? You scared the shit outta me!” Buster hisses, shaking Angel roughly.

“I've missed you.” Angel answers, simple and to the point. “You've been too busy feeling sorry for yourself and hiding to see me, so, you know. The mountain to Mohammed and all that.”

“Feeling _sorry _for myself? My marriage is over and I might lose my kids.” Buster snarls. The anger is threaded with pain that cracks Buster's voice.__

__“It hurts, doesn't it?” Angel asks softly, reaching a hand up and touching Buster's cheek, brushing the tears back. “But it could be worse.”_ _

__“How could it be worse? I screwed up, Angel. I screwed up so bad. I didn't want to hurt her but-”_ _

__“But you weren't happy. It's not your fault Buster. The way we did things, that was wrong, we should have done it differently, but you can't control what you want. Not as far as gender goes. That's pre programmed. You're born with it.”_ _

__“But I should have known.”_ _

__“Buster. Just say it. Admit it, just let it out.”_ _

__“I didn't want to know.”_ _

__Angel smiles, nodding at him before resting his head back on his pillow, tilting his head as he looks up at Buster. “No, you didn't. And that's okay. It's okay to be afraid. But choosing not to deal with it? It will not help you. All it will do in the end is hurt you. It will hurt more, because you will drive the people that care about you away. You're doing it right now.”_ _

__“I'm driving you away?”_ _

__“You're driving everyone away. Just stop it. Alright? We care about you, the whole team but me especially. I do not want to give you up. Please do not make me.” Angel says quietly. He knows that in truth, Buster could probably use him as an emotional punching bag and Angel probably wouldn't walk away. But Buster's a level headed person who can see reason and see how what he's doing is hurting both of them. He just has to have sense scared into him at times._ _

__Angel's words do the trick though. He sees that some flash of wild fear he saw the night Buster said Angel couldn't leave him. Buster's grip on his shoulders grows painfully tighter and he kisses Angel desperately, like he's trying to convince Angel through touch not to leave, not to go, not to give up on the two of them. Angel never could, but Buster doesn't know that. Just for now, Angel is glad of it. He wants to feel, experience physically, just how badly Buster wants the two of them to last._ _

__For a guy who had up til recently had no experience with men, Buster has learned quickly. He's decisive, knows what he likes and what he doesn't, knows what he wants to try and is never shy about asking for it. He's not asking for anything this time, just taking, undressing himself and Angel with quick and efficient hands. Each action is broken up by another kiss and mumbled oaths, angry declarations that if Angel thinks Buster is letting him walk away, he has another think coming._ _

__He puts Angel onto his stomach, teases Angel open like Angel has teased him before fucking him with deep thrusts, weight pressing Angel down into the bed. Angel fists his hands into the blanket, pants Buster's name and rocks his hips back into it. He'd never exploit Buster exactly, but he needs to get his boyfriend this worked up more often because he hasn't been fucked like this in years hard and with a slight sting of pain, Buster dropping biting kisses across his neck and shoulders._ _

__Buster's body covers Angel's after they've came. He's panting hard into Angel's neck but his body is tense, locked up, and Angel can feel a tension in the air. He smiles against the blanket when Buster almost timidly whispers, “I... I'm sorry. That was, I don't know. I didn't mean to do that.”_ _

__“Don't care if you meant to or not. If it doesn't happen again, I'll be sorely disappointed.” Angel mumbles, turning his head and smiling over his shoulder._ _

__Buster's blushing bright red and he rolls off of Angel, throwing his arm over his eyes. When Angel props his head up on his hand and places a hand on Buster's chest, rubbing slow circles, Buster shakes his head and refuses to look at him. Angel laughs, grabs Buster's wrist and pushes his arm down out of the way, moving half on top of him for a kiss, tangling their legs together._ _

__“You'll be okay. We have something good. You said yourself it was something you had been missing.” Angel murmurs, resting his head next to Buster's on the pillow. “You told me not to quit because it was hard. And I won't. I'll fight for this, even if it means fighting you and your own stupidity.”_ _

__“You really think that we could stand a chance?”_ _

__“Why couldn't we?”_ _

__“Guys don't get a happy ending.”_ _

__“They do all the time. Maybe it's our turn.”_ _


End file.
